I’m in the home stretch of my first year of self-employment. Yesterday marked 10 months for me. Over the next couple of months, I’ll be talking about some of the things this year has taught me. Of course, there is still so much that I don’t know – so many questions without answers – but I’m all for reflection, and maybe a little of what I’ve learned can help those of you who are a little newer to the journey.

Here’s what I want to discuss with you today. If you’re new to self-employment, chances are good that you’re going to fight me on this one – but I promise, I say this because I want the best for you.

Take back your weekends.

This is a tough one. To be honest, I’ve only sort of implemented this strategy, and only in the last couple of months. When I started freelancing, I used to hang out in my office all the time. I definitely never dared to leave for an entire weekend. I had major separation anxiety. I was convinced that my business would totally fall apart if left unattended for more than a few hours. I know that I am not alone in this.

When you’re self-employed, it’s next to impossible to maintain a set schedule or normal business hours. This is especially true for those of us who do most of our work behind the curtain (writers, illustrators, programmers, designers, etc.) than those of us who perform on a stage (consultants, massage therapists, coaches, etc). It is so easy, then, to let your work take over your life. And how silly is that? Aren’t we all fighting this self-employment battle – taking this journey – to reclaim our lives?

One of the first times it occurred to me that I shouldn’t be working weekends was on a Sunday back in January. I attempted to tell a client that I was out of the office (which I was) and that I’d help her out Monday morning. She said, “Oh, come on. I know you work weekends.” (She wasn’t saying this in an aggressive way – she was someone who worked weekends, too. And none of my clients are nasty. Knock on wood.)

I wanted to throw a tantrum. Tell her, “You’re right. I usually DO work weekends. But I don’t want to work TODAY. Today I want a break. Today I want to do something else.” I wanted her to respect that boundary. But there was no boundary there to respect. I had set the expectation that I was available 24/7.

What finally brought my work-free-weekends to fruition was my breakup with Noah. (I haven’t talked about that here, but if you follow me on Twitter, it was all you heard about for most of April. Thanks for sticking by me through that, by the way. We’ve since reconciled.) I realized that my need to work all the time had helped literally destroy my life. I won’t bore you with that string of epiphanies, but I made a big change starting then. I am done with for for the day at 6pm. I don’t work weekends.

There are exceptions to every rule, of course. Sometimes my client in Australia wants to video chat at 8pm. (Hi Donna! <3) Sometimes I need to be out of the office for part of a weekday and I make up for that by working later into the evening. Sometimes I do work on a Sunday to play catch up or give myself some wiggle room to take some time off during the week. But I do this in secret. The boundaries are there now. I stay away from e-mail on weekends. The office line goes to voicemail after 6pm. I have learned how to say, "I'm leaving the office in a half hour, but I'll definitely be in touch first thing tomorrow morning."

It's probably no surprise that I'm much more productive this way. I'm in the office by 7 most mornings and I've accomplished enough by noon most days that I could just leave then and feel good about it if I wanted to. I'm still a workaholic. I want everything to be done yesterday and that will probably never change. My work is hugely important to me and I would never put that on the backburner. I've just learned to make myself and my non-work life a priority, too.